How to slip a psycho

Memo: World

I have an office stalker. I work in a place with quite a few employees so picking up one or two crazies ain't that bad... however, this stalker looks remarkable like the actor from the Green Mile only less attractive and simpler, like "2 + 2 equals 4, Really" simple. I discovered this when he told me he was going to sell the fruit computer, and when I asked if he meant he was working at the Apple Store, he told me they don't have a store for the fruit computer. Also, the dude is huge and he follows me around, waits outside the door of my office, etc. Ordinarily I wouldn't be to bothered by this as, we have security on premises for these sort of issues. However, he is a security guard, and seems undeterred by the fact I have a (made-up) boyfriend, I seemingly despise him, and ignore all of his attempts to speak to me. I need tips, advise, mace on how to get convince him to leave me alone.

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I will developing the parameters for this date across America thing soon and will post them accordingly. Keep the suggestions flowing to the inbox okay.

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