I am FAR FAR too cynical for Church/Christianity/life?

Reasons why I am a bad person, version one billion point 0.

Today we did baptisms at my church and several of the kids being baptized were 15 and under in significant except that during our baptisms the associate pastors read a little something inspirational to get the crowd to understand why the participant has chosen to be baptized. The thing that makes me a cynical.evil.person. is that as they were reading the notes of 14 year olds exclaiming how they had gone astray from christ (all kids who grew up in church and have never a. left or b. done ANYTHING remotely "bad," I know, cause I know the kids) by playing sports and hanging out with kids and that this baptism signified there rededication to christ.

Audience: AWWWWWW, sniff, "you go girl!"
cynical.evil.person. internal monologue: WTH has a 14 year old experienced that could even remotely be a re-dedication to christ, in addition to the fact that these KIDS still have a ton of life to live, if the guilt over doing sports and not being perfect starts now they are screwed... why are they making them write dialog when all that needs be said is that they wanted to be baptised and felt it was the time. This is stupid.

I am also a bad person because: I think the mortgage bailout is completely ridiculous and think we should let people who lived outside of their means, deal with the consequences, and the corporations that did the same thing, should be responsible too, and realize they killed their company.

Yes, I am heartless.

I also think the people in Texas that willfully didn't listen to a mandatory evacuation should be charged a fine of $10,000.

I don't care they didn't want to leave... stupidity should a crime.

####

***** NEW POST*****

Change in theme for the ol' blog:

The next year is going to follow my travails as I discover more about my faith and things I struggle with:

The first is:
Does Prayer matter? IS it a waste of time?
I am looking to open discussion on the following:

If god is gonna do whatever he wants to anyway--- Why should we pray?

Yes, Jesus prays (he sorta knew the outcome ahead of time) (I can quote the scripture that says he does)
But does prayer change things--- since God has a pre-determined will anyway?
Or is prayer merely a meditate, self-soothing effort by christians to try and communicate to a non-verbal god.
If you have time, I am looking for your deep thoughts?

Definition by Clapton

Thoughts on the drive to the gym.

OR

A case study in me.

Have you ever heard the song Layla by Eric Clapton. Today I listened to both the unplugged and regular lp version

Most people love that saccharine unplugged version from the early nineties. And don't get me wrong. I LOVE the unplugged version, but for real, it to totally desecrates the song and the way it was meant to be heard. That song is a man's primal wail for acknowledgment from a woman. Unrequited PASSION. That song is emotion. A howl. This man is in love with another man's wife (FYI George Harrison of Beatles fame) and he is just Raw. And I love that. That the wail of the guitar is just mimicing the soul at the time. I don't need the sweet version, with the piano and the box drum, where the emotion is cleaned up and looked at from a distance. Give me the real, raw, ugly part of the song any day, any time.

Which is just a total case study in my personality. I am totally inclined to like things real and messy. Save the sugar for your cereal.

I am on a strange kick with music right now, for the record. Norah Jones, Bonnie Raitt, Eric Clapton, The Stones... I have no idea what the hell is going on in my head, but apparently I am visiting the 70's and I took Norah with me to visit. Now I am off to go beat into my roommates head the importance of Layla and the significance of the stones.

I will break her of this worship music all the time fixation if it kills me. Hope jesus doesn't mind.

P.S. Mom, I am seriously developing an affectation for Charlie Watts of the Stones... granted he is in his late 60's. Do not be alarmed, I am not gonna go all groupie on you... but seriously that man is the best Stone.... damn it.

MATH TIME (for Stephanie the big time Librarian and my friend)

See if they hit you with these in the reference section:

Question 1:

2 Pre-Schoolers + 2 cupcakes + 1 early morning wake up + 2 foam bats- 1 mommy on vacation = ?

Answer: ONE TIRED Fake-Aunt....Also several minor house injuries

No seriously, in the course of 2 hours, they beat each other with bats, accidentally took out a shelf... ripped up 5 napkins and dismantled their photo albums....It is a wonder I survived.

Question 2

If one has 1 eight pound lasagna is popped out the oven and is 5 feet away cooling in the kitchen and 3 boys visit for for dinner, how much lasagna time does the lasagna need to cool before appropriately eatable
Answer: 0 minutes apparently, even though that can result in 3rd degree burns of the mouth.
Bonus: Estimate the time it took to eat all 8 pounds. *Hint* More than 3 minutes less than 30*

Question 3

If a person has 1 filthy car and a guy friend sees it... how much time will it take before said guy friend takes cars and washes it completely?

Answer: 15 V. JUDGY MINUTES! I swear I haven't gotten a lecture that long since history 101 in college.... I mean really, WASHING THE CAR EVERYWEEK....seems a bit excessive no?

Besos Steph. I only hope in your preggo induced amnesia you remember to stop by the blog.

Superbowl Loss? Check. Seriously Bad Car Issues? Check. Potentially deadly infectious disease? CHECK

And that friends is a summary of my last few weeks.

Seriously, double you-tee-eff.

Yes, my team lost the Superbowl-- sidenote, possibly the best Superbowl, I have EVER watched, but still sad loss--- and I am not talking about it. But since I waxed so poetic about my team during the season, perhaps the best way to capture the horrific ending is to allow you, my readers to feel my pain. And since I can't figure out how to tape the audio from my MANY MANY voicemail messages, I have decided to link you to a fine site, which pretty much illustrates what people have said to me in the past few days.

www.i-hate-the-new-england-patriots.blogspot.com

I want to take a few moments and say, that is a finely written site, delicious hate, I can only hope to emulate them myself one day with www.suck-it-notre-dame.blogspot.com. But until then, please check them out, they are amusing all the time. And while you check them out imagine hearing all that crap in person for the past 3 days, and you will know my pain.

Car- I don't know what is wrong with it. I have boys to handle that... and once they tell me, rest assured I will promptly forget to tell you about it... but know this... those AAA guys are more than just friendly auto-helpers they also are never scared to hand a girl a hankie bribe her with Dark Chocolate Peanut M&M's when she loses it trying to verbalize what sound the car made when it stopped working. Thanks AAA!!!

SERIOUS INFECTIOUS DISEASE (lets call this an SID for short) yes. Apparently, I have been exposed to one.... stupid roommate (whom I LOOOOOOOOOOVE) has MRSA (pronounced mursa) or at least I am convinced she has MRSA after googling her mysterious symptoms yesterday that or she has been exposed to nuclear radiation... but I think option one is probably more likely.

What did you do? You ask.
Well, I did what any self-respecting, germ-fearing American did. Bleached the hell out of my entire house and nearly caused a building wide exodus with my fervent application of lemon scented anti-bacterial things apparently ammonia and bleach still don't mix... I thought the innovations of the day would solve that (kidding mom, I simply over applied the products... I guess using a whole bottle was overkill, but you know me... KNOWN for my subtlety) Yes, in a panic the likes of which not previously seen by my neightbors, I proceeded to boil water ( I don't know why) I stuck my tooth brush in one set, and my tweezers in another and then another version I boiled everything, even the soap dispenser... (still don't know why, we don't share soap) and then I washed every towel in the house in EXTRA HOT. I still don't feel safe. I am also pretty sure my roommate is gonna kill me because I keep following her around with bleach spray to disinfect after her.

John Mayer Blogs Jessica Simpson.

And I laugh my ass off.

First off sweet Vindication. There truly is a J.Simp Curse. And never has it been more clear than during that Dallas loss this weekend.

There are several highlights to this blog by John Mayer (who I think is very talented and I am sure is celebrity nice [not to be confused with regular nice as it is typically more narcissistic and false], and I am sure he meant the nice things (re- was slightly inebriated and/or feeling magnanimous) when he wrote this, and blah blah fluckity blah)

DON'T EX WITH TEXAS

Dear Dallas and Surrounding Areas,
This isn't a sports blog, and it isn't a publicity stunt. (but have at me if it feels right.)
This is about doing what I think is right as a person, in this case speaking my mind.
I have never known anyone to have more pride in their home state and their upbringing in it than Jessica Simpson has in Texas. I don't really follow sports, but I have played some of my biggest and best concerts in your state, and having witnessed how dynamic the spirit there is, I'm betting emotions are running high right about now.
All witty barbs, blogs, and fashion policing aside, that girl loves Texas more than you know. It's one of her most defining traits as a person. So please don't try and take that away from her. (You probably wouldn't be able to, but it's less work for all involved.)
I just thought it would mean something coming from the guy who has the absolute least to gain from this. And if I'm out of line in having written it, too bad. I can spare a Wednesday's worth of bad press if it means sticking up for a good soul.
JM

Well, I am convinced. AMERICA, let us adopt J. Simp and make efforts to make her feel better (I wonder, where the America Cares for Jess Fund, should go...) but before I do...

A few notes:

*This loss is ALL on Mr. Romo, honestly the week before a post-season game, where you choked last year, MAYBE... you spend time reading the play book and spend less time frolicking for photographers. However, if you are gonna go frolic for the photogs, you make damn sure you win. (See, Brady, Tom. His ability to dump pregnant actresses, switch to Victoria's Secret Models, and still stay America's Golden Boy, probably has to do with his ability to win.... and maybe his ability to be commandingly good-looking)

But really, nobody can really have been surprised at the backlash, unless you haven't read a newspaper in like, I dunno, a few years. You wanna play celebrity. Deal with the perks and the crap. ALSO, what the FLUCK is wrong with celebrities, you claim you don't want to get photographed and then you go to quick lunches in Beverly Hills and Hollywood, try living in GLENDALE or PASADENA or going to places where photogs aren't gonna hunt you like a rabid dog--- spare me your "I am super surprised that photographers are HERE on Robertson, I mean, who could have predicted that one other than every grocery line reader of US Weekly.

** Ahem, Mr. Mayer. The guy who has the least to gain from this is probably NOT gonna be a fellow celebrity with a blog. I could also be wrong on this, perhaps a contest on who has the least to gain from this... but PERHAPS, if people (re: you, Mr. Mayer) would just leave things alone, instead of I DUNNO bring it up on a well-read celebrity blog (You, KNOW that blog is gonna end up on Perez or Faded Youth or whatever, just because you wrote it!) after the fact, it would probably fade quickly.... what with Britney losing her mind on a daily basis, I am sure people would have something else to talk about.

*** There is no negotiating with Rabid Sports fans... If they blame Simpson, they are gonna blame Simpson, maybe she will just suck it up like a big girl, and accept that all people, EVERYWHERE aren't gonna lover her. Who freaking CARES. Since I assume, this blog took Mr. Mayer, 4 minutes to write, I won't point out that that 4 minutes could have been used to use his "celebrity" to raise money or awareness for actual causes, like Cancer or AIDS or World Hunger...okay, maybe I will. AIDS, CANCER, HOMELESS, how about tossing those blog writing efforts over that away, Mr. Mayer. No? I guess you have a point, I mean why help the needy, when you sir can be busy saving the J.Simp from her long (ahem, 1 day) national nightmare of being unloved in Texas. (insert, sarcastic eye roll here)

**** The funny: her love for Texas is so great, she took a QB that she already knew had PR problems from her attendance at the Eagles Game, down on a quick vacation a few days before a play-off game to a city where CELEBRITIES ARE FREAKING KNOWN TO FREQUENT, WHERE PHOTOGS ARE KNOWN TO WORK AND THEN HAS PUBLIC OUTINGS. Conspiracy Theory: She secretly loves the Houston Texans and is using her powers of destruction to bring down the Cowboys from the inside.

***** Also, we should be nice to her cause she loves Texas? WTF. How about lay-off her cause it isn't her fault her boyfriend couldn't do his job, that is probably more legit. Is Mr. Mayer afraid they are gonna revoke her Texan Card, are all the Dallas Fans gonna put up wanted Dead or Alive posters. Please.

****** (this is a lot of asterisks) But My Favorite Part is: Her defining personality trait is a "love for Texas" How. Freaking. Interesting. This says a ton about her personality doesn't it, please people don't remember her for being kind, loving, a good listener, an excellent l cook, a christian, a good reader, talented. NO. Remember her, cause she likes Texas. Special.

Strange things about me.

What.
Yes, I have nothing relevant to say.
Yes, this is a self-absorbed post.

It's a blog. Deal.

1. I like mini reeces pb cups, but don't like the big version and won't eat said big cups. This mini candy thing also applys to snickers bars, love the mini, hate the full size.

2. I don't like cream cheese on sweet bagels, but do on onion, garlic or plain bagels.

3. I *HATE* wrapping presents. 99% of the gifts I give out, come in gift bags.

4. My Ex, got me the Patriots 3 Superbowl wins on DVD for my birthday and I even though I love the Patriots, I can't bring myself to watch the dvd's

5. I currently have a pink tea kettle, a pink coffee carafe that travels and a pink gym bag, I should probably mention, I don't really like pink.

6. In the past year, I have found myself on accidental dates at leasat 3 times. Accidental dates area when you figure out about, eh, halfway in that "hanging out" was really code for date.

7. I LOVE scones. Plain ones, but get irritated when people try to give me maple, chocolate or otherwise dessert like scones.

8. I have eaten at Panera 3 times in the past 6 days.

9. I seem to attract guys between the ages of 20-25, but NONE in the 27 age bracket... strange.

10. I have never done a drug, but I sometimes think it's because the economics involved. I mean, come on, I can buy shoes or drugs. Shoes win EVERYTIME.

11. I like reading blogs and message boards better than cnn, bbc and/or latimes online. I think MSM often gets the news ALL Wrong... and get it later than the blogs do, funny, since I have a B.A. in Journalism.

12. My best friend from HS, talk like once a year, but she still cracks me up and we still do the same thing we did 9 years ago, eat chips and drink diet coke, and then make fun of daytime television then bitch that we are getting fat and decide to do approx 2 runs up her stair set and collapse.... never change Mich! NEVER CHANGE.

13. I only wear ankle socks, INLESS it is nighttime, then soccer socks are okay.

14. I only use white hangers, and can tell if my roommate has been wearing my clothes based on if any hangers are off colored at all.

15. I will not eat American cheese. In fact, the only orange cheese I will eat is sharp cheddar. I also will not eat iceberg lettuce, it is a useless "vegetable" and I refuse to buy it.