Football Conversations from this Weekend
Disclaimer post... I actually don't know that much about football, but what I do know I attempted to teach to my friend Luz this weekend as we watched the Ohio v. Texas game at my friend Mike's house, this is what it sounded like (actual conversation):
Me: Okay so right now the are going for the field goal, it gives you three points.
Luz: Oh, okay so how.
Me: See they kick the ball between the big H's and if it goes between them you get three points (for the record it actually is big Y looking thing they kick through now)
Boys: The big h's .... hahahahahahhahahahhaahhah
Me: and after they get the ball points, they kick the ball the other way, using special teams which are the short players.
L: oh... look that kicker is Gonzalez, he's my people. Okay so now what?
Me: Okay then the team gets the ball and they get four turns... each turn is called a down
L: Cause the ball is on the ground.
Me: No, because they have four tries to get it across the yellow line that isn't really there, but is there on TV.
L: Oh, well how can they tell if there is no yellow line.
Me: They use those Orange carrot looking things to measure.
The Boys: Carrots, hey mike there are carrots on the field
L: how long does it measure,
Me: 10 yards, SHUT UP MIKE, they totally look like carrot sticks.
I guess my football explanations aren't going to get me onto ESPN, but they made perfect sense to my friend luz... I am starting to think I should write the Pretty Girls Guide to NCAA Football. I have many more gems like the ones used above like:
the 2 point conversion: when the people decide not to kick to the giant h's after a touchdown and decide to go for another touch down.
the safe catch: when a player frantically waves at the other players, it means don't tackle me okay.
the fumble: when the boys drop the ball. And then who ever jumps on it first gets to keep it.
See, and right on the front would be like 3 pretty girls watching Football. This is marketing genius...you know you want to buy that book.
I even would include the definitive guide to selecting your NFL team. It would go like this... First, select hottest quarterback
Then select the uniform colors that look best on you and voila... you're a fan.
Or I guess, I could just save some time and tell them they should be Tom Brady fans, the man gives new definition to Hot.
Click Here Or Copy and Paste for the Magic:
www.jedroot.com/photogr/mem/celeb/art/tom-brady-01.jpg
Me: Okay so right now the are going for the field goal, it gives you three points.
Luz: Oh, okay so how.
Me: See they kick the ball between the big H's and if it goes between them you get three points (for the record it actually is big Y looking thing they kick through now)
Boys: The big h's .... hahahahahahhahahahhaahhah
Me: and after they get the ball points, they kick the ball the other way, using special teams which are the short players.
L: oh... look that kicker is Gonzalez, he's my people. Okay so now what?
Me: Okay then the team gets the ball and they get four turns... each turn is called a down
L: Cause the ball is on the ground.
Me: No, because they have four tries to get it across the yellow line that isn't really there, but is there on TV.
L: Oh, well how can they tell if there is no yellow line.
Me: They use those Orange carrot looking things to measure.
The Boys: Carrots, hey mike there are carrots on the field
L: how long does it measure,
Me: 10 yards, SHUT UP MIKE, they totally look like carrot sticks.
I guess my football explanations aren't going to get me onto ESPN, but they made perfect sense to my friend luz... I am starting to think I should write the Pretty Girls Guide to NCAA Football. I have many more gems like the ones used above like:
the 2 point conversion: when the people decide not to kick to the giant h's after a touchdown and decide to go for another touch down.
the safe catch: when a player frantically waves at the other players, it means don't tackle me okay.
the fumble: when the boys drop the ball. And then who ever jumps on it first gets to keep it.
See, and right on the front would be like 3 pretty girls watching Football. This is marketing genius...you know you want to buy that book.
I even would include the definitive guide to selecting your NFL team. It would go like this... First, select hottest quarterback
Then select the uniform colors that look best on you and voila... you're a fan.
Or I guess, I could just save some time and tell them they should be Tom Brady fans, the man gives new definition to Hot.
Click Here Or Copy and Paste for the Magic:
www.jedroot.com/photogr/mem/celeb/art/tom-brady-01.jpg
posted by Shanelle at 10:47 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home