I'm like the younger, poorer, thinner Oprah. Thoughts on Life and Life Equations.
Only you know, better looking. Lately, I have found myself in the position of advisor on relationships for many many friends... which is hilarious considering I am not in a relationship. However, I have managed to pick up a few logical tips having dated thoroughly in college and witnessed my friends wreck themselves over completely unworthy people.
Oddly, enough though,most of my relationship advise is boldly based on logic and logic alone.
Por Emplo, it's not so much a good plan for you to not define what you want in a relationship and then completely disregard it or not communicate it. I need a touchy feely handholder, if I date a dude who is hands off, eventually I am gonna think "hey, he's just not that into me," and freak out, probably on him, and the poor dude is going to be "wtF". Men, are like the complete opposite of mind readers....whatever that is (uh maybe anti-mindreaders or unreaders). If you say, "hey, I'm okay' and you mean "why don't you love me enough to do x,y and z, and i feel fat and ugly and sad" Men still hear "hey, I'm okay" and that's assuming you have a good listner.
Also, boys are just as insecure and needy at times as girls... if your expecting him not to be, you probably are going to be dating a robot(in which case, run, because that is just scary) or someone who has another girlfriend, who he is insecure and needy with....
BUT finally, FINALLY... most importantly, sing it with me: MAYBE THEIR CRAZY, MAYBE THEIR CRAAAAAAAZY... Possibly...
Listen... crazy don't just show up one day.
Admit it, your dating a hot guy/ hot girl, and you knew she was crazy. you sensed it when she started naming her stuffed animals after your future children, you knew it when he memorized all your myspace friends and asked about EVERY freaking comment you left on there page. You knew it, and you didn’t get out, that's your fault. You wanna let someone treat you like crap... no one gonna stop them, it's on you. And if you are the crazy one, uh... don't call me, okay... cause that’s just creepy
Now for some Life Equations (this is where I reveal I have too much time on my hand)
The hotness of a girl (H) multiplied by 2 times her amount of insecurities (I), minus the length between her last relationship and the one your in(L), multiply the whole thing by her daddy issues(D)... equals the amount of crazy you are going to be dealing with.
ahem, it looks algebraically like this:
(H*2I-L)*D=CRAAAAAAAAAAZY.
example time: If Mary is pretty hot (8), she has 2 major insecurities but her last relationship was a couple of weeks ago... and her daddy left her and her mama when she was 11, for her step-mother, (issue level of 7) what is the amount of crazy you are dealing with
(8*2(2) - 0)* 7= Crazy level of DRUM ROLL PLEASE...224.
Now ideally, you want to date a girl who has less than 150 marking of crazy, that is reasonable... most sane girls are gonna range between 70 and 160. Let's face it, no girl is absolutely crazy free.... but still you wanna aim for as rational as possible.
Oddly, enough though,most of my relationship advise is boldly based on logic and logic alone.
Por Emplo, it's not so much a good plan for you to not define what you want in a relationship and then completely disregard it or not communicate it. I need a touchy feely handholder, if I date a dude who is hands off, eventually I am gonna think "hey, he's just not that into me," and freak out, probably on him, and the poor dude is going to be "wtF". Men, are like the complete opposite of mind readers....whatever that is (uh maybe anti-mindreaders or unreaders). If you say, "hey, I'm okay' and you mean "why don't you love me enough to do x,y and z, and i feel fat and ugly and sad" Men still hear "hey, I'm okay" and that's assuming you have a good listner.
Also, boys are just as insecure and needy at times as girls... if your expecting him not to be, you probably are going to be dating a robot(in which case, run, because that is just scary) or someone who has another girlfriend, who he is insecure and needy with....
BUT finally, FINALLY... most importantly, sing it with me: MAYBE THEIR CRAZY, MAYBE THEIR CRAAAAAAAZY... Possibly...
Listen... crazy don't just show up one day.
Admit it, your dating a hot guy/ hot girl, and you knew she was crazy. you sensed it when she started naming her stuffed animals after your future children, you knew it when he memorized all your myspace friends and asked about EVERY freaking comment you left on there page. You knew it, and you didn’t get out, that's your fault. You wanna let someone treat you like crap... no one gonna stop them, it's on you. And if you are the crazy one, uh... don't call me, okay... cause that’s just creepy
Now for some Life Equations (this is where I reveal I have too much time on my hand)
The hotness of a girl (H) multiplied by 2 times her amount of insecurities (I), minus the length between her last relationship and the one your in(L), multiply the whole thing by her daddy issues(D)... equals the amount of crazy you are going to be dealing with.
ahem, it looks algebraically like this:
(H*2I-L)*D=CRAAAAAAAAAAZY.
example time: If Mary is pretty hot (8), she has 2 major insecurities but her last relationship was a couple of weeks ago... and her daddy left her and her mama when she was 11, for her step-mother, (issue level of 7) what is the amount of crazy you are dealing with
(8*2(2) - 0)* 7= Crazy level of DRUM ROLL PLEASE...224.
Now ideally, you want to date a girl who has less than 150 marking of crazy, that is reasonable... most sane girls are gonna range between 70 and 160. Let's face it, no girl is absolutely crazy free.... but still you wanna aim for as rational as possible.
posted by Shanelle at 8:57 AM
1 Comments:
the crazy boat eh....yes...she still is crazy..i know
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