Saving the World, One Disturbing Trend at a Time!!
I think everyone has a thing, for example(s) my friend Jase’s thing is to date girls who are super forward and move super fast with him, and then get bored with the same ol’ girls who don’t challenge him. The ex’s thing is to shut down and stop caring about arguments, agreements or anything that is going to change the flow of an emotional conversation. J loves girls who act like they don’t like him, and then as soon as he gets them to like him, he acts like a distant jerk, he also FLOVES the crazy. I even know a girl M, who falls in like, out of like, and into extreme dislike, BEFORE meeting the guy.
And, as you probably recognize some of those initials from the post below, you know that I KNOW these boys, I have known ALL of them for more than 5 years, and throughout least 2 major relationships. So I have no problem, calling them out during conversations, when they are bitching. But this month, I made the critical error. I forgot those boys know me pretty well too. And I SET MYSELF UP for the calling out of a lifetime. I should clarify that while I am equally good friends with J, Jase and the ex… none of them knows each other, which makes this all the more painful.
So I am talking to J, via text as we are apt to do, and I am all “well, see you always love girls that don’t love you or girls that act absolute insane Bit*&s, it’s your thing, if you just quit, then this won’t be a problem” wham, I know, sweet baby Oprah, she has figured out his life in one fell swoop, why doesn’t she have a show?
Do you know what he sends me back “well, at least I am not every guy on earth’s buddy, and I don’t constantly like peeps who don’t notice me, if you just started sticking up for yourself and cutting the crap you wouldn’t have boy problems, you are pretty enough to not be every guys platonic girl buddy,” DAMN… nailed to the wall like Luther’s thesis.
Scoreboard says: J: 1, Me : 0
Not that, I was going down without a fight, a fight to prove J wrong, I immediately called the ex (the more sympathetic of my boys) and subtly (well maybe not so subtly) asked if this was true and he gave me the hard truth “forget the like people who don’t notice you thing, most people I know notice you, I do know, it does seem like an awful lot of guys want to be your buddy.” And I knew it was true, when Jase’s response was “hahahahahahaha, yes. Hell yes”
I have heard that I had buddy syndrome before, but I thought I had combated the disease. And that is what it is, a danged DISEASE, it’s like I contracted it somewhere (I am thinking College) and haven’t lost it.
For the newbies, I am going to define the parameters of girl buddy. A girl buddy, is a non-sexual, non-attracted to chick that you hang with in between relationships. “one of the guys,” if you will. The girl that you spend a great deal of time discussing the girls you actually are attracted to with. The girl that when people ask you what about her, you scoff, meh, she’s cool and everything, but she’s like one of the guys. The Joey Potter, (season 1) to your Dawson Leery, the Xander to your Buffy, the Tina Fey, to the entire cast of SNL. Every girl you hangout with whom you aren’t dating is not a buddy… there are such things as girl (space) friends. But honestly, it is a fine-line we tread.
Nevertheless, I am all about self-improvement. As of right now, I am nipping buddy syndrome in the bud. Not that I have any idea how, but at the next sighting of a buddying, I am running for the hills or I am making out with him just to stop the madness (ahem, if I am already your buddy of several years, it’s too late, for real Wilson… I still love you though) Otherwise, I am going to be 40, with 9 cats, several pairs of sensible shoes and 50 GAGILLION BUDDIES.
Cues “Gone with the Wind Soundtrack”: As God is my Witness, I will never be buddied AGAIN! (shakes lip gloss at the sky) Cresendo
And SCENE.
And, as you probably recognize some of those initials from the post below, you know that I KNOW these boys, I have known ALL of them for more than 5 years, and throughout least 2 major relationships. So I have no problem, calling them out during conversations, when they are bitching. But this month, I made the critical error. I forgot those boys know me pretty well too. And I SET MYSELF UP for the calling out of a lifetime. I should clarify that while I am equally good friends with J, Jase and the ex… none of them knows each other, which makes this all the more painful.
So I am talking to J, via text as we are apt to do, and I am all “well, see you always love girls that don’t love you or girls that act absolute insane Bit*&s, it’s your thing, if you just quit, then this won’t be a problem” wham, I know, sweet baby Oprah, she has figured out his life in one fell swoop, why doesn’t she have a show?
Do you know what he sends me back “well, at least I am not every guy on earth’s buddy, and I don’t constantly like peeps who don’t notice me, if you just started sticking up for yourself and cutting the crap you wouldn’t have boy problems, you are pretty enough to not be every guys platonic girl buddy,” DAMN… nailed to the wall like Luther’s thesis.
Scoreboard says: J: 1, Me : 0
Not that, I was going down without a fight, a fight to prove J wrong, I immediately called the ex (the more sympathetic of my boys) and subtly (well maybe not so subtly) asked if this was true and he gave me the hard truth “forget the like people who don’t notice you thing, most people I know notice you, I do know, it does seem like an awful lot of guys want to be your buddy.” And I knew it was true, when Jase’s response was “hahahahahahaha, yes. Hell yes”
I have heard that I had buddy syndrome before, but I thought I had combated the disease. And that is what it is, a danged DISEASE, it’s like I contracted it somewhere (I am thinking College) and haven’t lost it.
For the newbies, I am going to define the parameters of girl buddy. A girl buddy, is a non-sexual, non-attracted to chick that you hang with in between relationships. “one of the guys,” if you will. The girl that you spend a great deal of time discussing the girls you actually are attracted to with. The girl that when people ask you what about her, you scoff, meh, she’s cool and everything, but she’s like one of the guys. The Joey Potter, (season 1) to your Dawson Leery, the Xander to your Buffy, the Tina Fey, to the entire cast of SNL. Every girl you hangout with whom you aren’t dating is not a buddy… there are such things as girl (space) friends. But honestly, it is a fine-line we tread.
Nevertheless, I am all about self-improvement. As of right now, I am nipping buddy syndrome in the bud. Not that I have any idea how, but at the next sighting of a buddying, I am running for the hills or I am making out with him just to stop the madness (ahem, if I am already your buddy of several years, it’s too late, for real Wilson… I still love you though) Otherwise, I am going to be 40, with 9 cats, several pairs of sensible shoes and 50 GAGILLION BUDDIES.
Cues “Gone with the Wind Soundtrack”: As God is my Witness, I will never be buddied AGAIN! (shakes lip gloss at the sky) Cresendo
And SCENE.
posted by Shanelle at 1:11 PM
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