For Real, I don't give a Crap.

Unfortunately, I didn't get to say all this to the actual person. But in the spirit of changing the world one crazed person at a time.

I present, an open letter to the random dude who asked me out today:

First, spare me your bromidic, juvenille musings on the following: how you know directors, producers and other famous people, how you could totally get me a job in movies, and how you're working for xyz company now, but really you have connections and could be a president, partner, ruler of the world, if you just made a few phone calls. Honestly, I could give a crap about who you know, who you think you know or who you wish you knew when you dreamed up whatever B.S you thought would get me to find you attractive and consent to a date. Yes, I am that bitchy.

Second, throwing a resume at me, doesn't make me want to date you either. I don't care you where you went to school, or what your GPA was when you were there, I do care that you have shown up in my office theoretically, to discuss your "doctoral thesis" and instead spent quality time (that would be my quality time) telling me all about how you have so many "ladies" after you and how you're so "pressed" by all the many many people that want you to run their companies for them. I don't find the use of slang during a business meeting to be attractive; you know what I do find atractive, men who use the English language well.

Lastly, I'm not sure you know this about me, but let me take a moment to clarify things. When you keep "accidentally" running into me , I am more likely to want to punch you, and less likely to want to spend any more time than absolutely necessary with you. Also, you trying to bond with me over how "brothers and sisters" like us can't get ahead, is inane at best and racist at worst. My friends, ahem... that would be all the people I would rather be talking to you than you, and my co-workers are lovely people, who have been nothing but supportive of me and my career. Me answering a phone at my office does not equal a violation of civil rights and it certianly doesn't make Martin Luther King Jr. roll over in his grave,people accusing other people of racism for no reason, probably does. You are not my brother, I am not your sister, and if I was I probably would spend a great deal of time explaining how you should, ENUNCIATE.

Thanks for taking up 2 hours of my day random man, allowing me the great pleasure of having to stay at work to finish the projects I could have been doing had you not wasted my time.

Best,
Me