The Wait is Ovah, Halloween, The Recap, Part Duex
Otherwise known as the one where, I get a hero. So off we wander to the streets of Freaksville. First thing noticeable, is that I am really as naive as Jase says I am, because I had no idea there were that many people waiting to go crazy, just because it was Halloween, I also look like a kindergartener on the street compared to some of the people on the street last night. I really was the most clothed woman on the street. At the point where people were pushing past me and screaming, I kind of started getting worried and scared. I don’t like random people touching or grabbing at me. Thankfully, cue Pre-Black Mariah, I had a hero…. Ben, whenever you read this, thanks for keeping me safe from the masses, you are my favorite fake fighter (I mean Naval??) pilot ever, in all seriousness, you can even keep the position if Brady wears the suit… although admittedly you might have to remind me of this statement should the latter ever occur.
Oh, you say, what kind of danger could you have possibly been in, other than the absolute criminal assault on your ears that was the Kevin Federline concert (more on that later)
Well first off the swarming masses of people cut everyone off, so if you are by yourself ever in a group of 500,000 you get jostled, and shoved out of the way…. But it is worse when the spectacle of people get right in your face and scream “HONEY…HI” add into the fact that there were wobbly drunk drag queens out, with dangerously spiked stilettos, and I am lucky I didn’t wander off to cry in a corner. Surprisingly, I actually had a guy hit on me… one in 500,000; I hope it’s not me. The two best parts of the night though is when a group of men stopped in front of a line of hungry people and stared at Ben, pointing and saying, “he is so hot… so freaking hot,” All while Ben was completely focused on which Tamale he wanted. I think one of them was starting to move forward when I grabbed his hand to intervene and shook my head to indicate he is into girls…. And the group of men CONGRATULATED ME…hee, like I did something really great. I think they wanted to carry him off and name him King of the Party. The other best part of the night is when a large group of Asian women, grabbed the roomie and yelled “hello kitty, I LOVE hello Kitty” and then proceeded to dragout a complete Hello Kitty collection of items, as if she had been waiting all her life just to see Hello Kitty on the street so she could proclaim her fandom. I wonder where the pictures of the roomie are going to show up. Ever think of that, how many people just have pictures of you standing in the background of their picture… there could be hundreds of photos of you all over the world. Actually when you think of that, it is creepy as hell.
Other things of hell, Kevin Federline, RAPPING… ON AN ACTUAL STAGE comes to mind. Look, I know he must be feeling pretty smug as the man who absolutely ruined Britney (you just know somewhere out there, Baby Mama number 1 and Justin Timberlake are sitting together saying “damn dodged a bullet there”) but why he must use his tentative grip on fame to ruin the rap genre makes no sense. He doesn’t seem to comprehend that people LOATHE him…. He comes on stage in a cape, I have no idea what he was supposed to be, the count of bad rap, but as SOON as he appeared. EVERYONE started booing. You know how hard it is to find a judgmental drag queen? Yeah, if you can’t win someone who sports clear plastic 6-inch heels, (clearly not a person of taste on a side note, if you are going to be a drag queen, they do make Jimmy Choo’s in specialty sizes, no need for stripper shoes to join your repertoire) then you can’t you win anyone over.
After all that, we decided to head for home… I think we were thoroughly over stimulated. On the way back, I saw 7 supermans, several slutty fireman (real firemen, those guys pull girls just by standing around), and several rainbow brights… slutty ones of course.
Happy Hallo- I mean—Sluttoween
Oh, you say, what kind of danger could you have possibly been in, other than the absolute criminal assault on your ears that was the Kevin Federline concert (more on that later)
Well first off the swarming masses of people cut everyone off, so if you are by yourself ever in a group of 500,000 you get jostled, and shoved out of the way…. But it is worse when the spectacle of people get right in your face and scream “HONEY…HI” add into the fact that there were wobbly drunk drag queens out, with dangerously spiked stilettos, and I am lucky I didn’t wander off to cry in a corner. Surprisingly, I actually had a guy hit on me… one in 500,000; I hope it’s not me. The two best parts of the night though is when a group of men stopped in front of a line of hungry people and stared at Ben, pointing and saying, “he is so hot… so freaking hot,” All while Ben was completely focused on which Tamale he wanted. I think one of them was starting to move forward when I grabbed his hand to intervene and shook my head to indicate he is into girls…. And the group of men CONGRATULATED ME…hee, like I did something really great. I think they wanted to carry him off and name him King of the Party. The other best part of the night is when a large group of Asian women, grabbed the roomie and yelled “hello kitty, I LOVE hello Kitty” and then proceeded to dragout a complete Hello Kitty collection of items, as if she had been waiting all her life just to see Hello Kitty on the street so she could proclaim her fandom. I wonder where the pictures of the roomie are going to show up. Ever think of that, how many people just have pictures of you standing in the background of their picture… there could be hundreds of photos of you all over the world. Actually when you think of that, it is creepy as hell.
Other things of hell, Kevin Federline, RAPPING… ON AN ACTUAL STAGE comes to mind. Look, I know he must be feeling pretty smug as the man who absolutely ruined Britney (you just know somewhere out there, Baby Mama number 1 and Justin Timberlake are sitting together saying “damn dodged a bullet there”) but why he must use his tentative grip on fame to ruin the rap genre makes no sense. He doesn’t seem to comprehend that people LOATHE him…. He comes on stage in a cape, I have no idea what he was supposed to be, the count of bad rap, but as SOON as he appeared. EVERYONE started booing. You know how hard it is to find a judgmental drag queen? Yeah, if you can’t win someone who sports clear plastic 6-inch heels, (clearly not a person of taste on a side note, if you are going to be a drag queen, they do make Jimmy Choo’s in specialty sizes, no need for stripper shoes to join your repertoire) then you can’t you win anyone over.
After all that, we decided to head for home… I think we were thoroughly over stimulated. On the way back, I saw 7 supermans, several slutty fireman (real firemen, those guys pull girls just by standing around), and several rainbow brights… slutty ones of course.
Happy Hallo- I mean—Sluttoween
posted by Shanelle at 5:21 PM
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