I've been BETRAYED...
Throws BARWARE....
To whom it may concern, but with specific regards to Lindsay Lohan, whose crazyness has infected the L.A. air and has taken hold of my roommates tentative grip on reality:
I have been betrayed, on the deepest, darkest, most injury inducing levels... by someone I considered FAMILIA, my roommate. Who brazenly just walked into my room wearing.............SKINNY JEANS.
BAH.
I blame you LaLohan, and I am eyeing you suspiciously, Britney, clearly this is some sort of L.A.
like conspiracy to make me insane.
It's like I can't even look at her anymore, it's like I don't even know who she is anymore, thankfully, when she asked if they looked HORRIFIC, i didn't have to lie, my roommate was blessed with v. thin thighs.
But honestly, HONESTLY, what is next. Will she go on a rampage attacking cars and shaving her head.
Will she start wearing puffy sneakers, with skinny pants, thereby besmirching the Casa de Meh's good name. Where is Donna Karan when I need her!
Never fear all, I have a plan of action already in place. I have begun placing InStyle Magazine in inoccuous places, like the fridge, so that she picks up the hint. I also have removed all puffy shoes from the premises and am currently cutting out pictures of La Lohan, with subtle statements like, this could be you, and have strategically placed pictures of muffins around the house, so that she keeps a watchful eye.
I feel as though the end is near.
I must go online shop at Banana Republic, that mine eyes be cleansed.
Pray for us all.
To whom it may concern, but with specific regards to Lindsay Lohan, whose crazyness has infected the L.A. air and has taken hold of my roommates tentative grip on reality:
I have been betrayed, on the deepest, darkest, most injury inducing levels... by someone I considered FAMILIA, my roommate. Who brazenly just walked into my room wearing.............SKINNY JEANS.
BAH.
I blame you LaLohan, and I am eyeing you suspiciously, Britney, clearly this is some sort of L.A.
like conspiracy to make me insane.
It's like I can't even look at her anymore, it's like I don't even know who she is anymore, thankfully, when she asked if they looked HORRIFIC, i didn't have to lie, my roommate was blessed with v. thin thighs.
But honestly, HONESTLY, what is next. Will she go on a rampage attacking cars and shaving her head.
Will she start wearing puffy sneakers, with skinny pants, thereby besmirching the Casa de Meh's good name. Where is Donna Karan when I need her!
Never fear all, I have a plan of action already in place. I have begun placing InStyle Magazine in inoccuous places, like the fridge, so that she picks up the hint. I also have removed all puffy shoes from the premises and am currently cutting out pictures of La Lohan, with subtle statements like, this could be you, and have strategically placed pictures of muffins around the house, so that she keeps a watchful eye.
I feel as though the end is near.
I must go online shop at Banana Republic, that mine eyes be cleansed.
Pray for us all.
posted by Shanelle at 2:30 PM
1 Comments:
Ha! I laugh at your skinny jeans problem! I live in the beautiful city of the FUGLY. Witnessed today in the downtown businees district a 20-ish woman in a nice pair of bermuda shorts wearing BLACK SOCKS and BLACK Nike sandals-Wah? Read that again.....that's right,black socks and Nike running sandals.
But this is not the case of some poor girl whose mirror doesn't reach past her knees. The next block over I see a young man in olive green khakis, nice T wearing BLACK socks with black LOW-RISE Converse. I won't talk about the blinding flash from his never seen the sun legs....
But the creme de la creme was (drum roll please) the woman in the black fringed skirt and tank set....was she wearing black socks? NO- Fushia pink socks with a pair of old running shoes that most resemble the pair I mow the lawn in.
Okay so skinny jeans are disgusting but at least they say something other than...I'm stupid, color-blind and totally lacking in compassion for the people who have to look at me!!!!!!!
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