Worst Week EVER
I went to Kickboxing with one shoe and one sock.
Yeah, total metaphor for life here. I feel like I am one shoe short of an outfit. One gloriously stilleto away from perfection.
Today, I ran away from LA. You know sometimes this place sorta makes you wonder if you are sane. I mean, not like being in Indiana, makes you wonder if you are insane... clearly, you just are... hello Indiana, p.s. I still hate you. I mean that like LA literally takes everything that should be normal and inverts into an odd Alice in Wonderland mad tea party kind of way.
An example of this all happened this week when going through a conversation discussing friendships.
I have a friend whom I love. Whom I will defend to the death, and whose concept of viable friendships is just beyond all wrong.
I have given him my patented friendship dollar discussion. Which in short just says, relationships are like investment banking, one doesn't throw money into a bad fund and expect any return.... and that through calculated risk investment you can maximize your friendships and personal growth... I realize that this sounds super analytical... but if you think about it the question really is: How much time have you spent investing in someone who just doesn't give a crap about you.
And yet you do. Or at least I do. Because even as I gave the *patented Friendship dollar discussion* I know that I have spent an inordinate time this year concentrating on being friends with someone who probably could take or leave me. Even in my head today, I make the appropriate friendship overtures and I don't really know the point... is the point to be the better person or is the point to prove to them eventually that I am worth knowing. It is absolutely ridiculous. And I wonder, is an LA thing, where it seems better to have a surface relationship than none at all... or if it is just a thing that people do till they grow out of it. And when do people grow out of it, because I know people still struggling with this v. idea at 42 years old. Which seems like an age you should have most of your ish figured out.
Right, well so ends the introspective part of the evening.
Yeah, total metaphor for life here. I feel like I am one shoe short of an outfit. One gloriously stilleto away from perfection.
Today, I ran away from LA. You know sometimes this place sorta makes you wonder if you are sane. I mean, not like being in Indiana, makes you wonder if you are insane... clearly, you just are... hello Indiana, p.s. I still hate you. I mean that like LA literally takes everything that should be normal and inverts into an odd Alice in Wonderland mad tea party kind of way.
An example of this all happened this week when going through a conversation discussing friendships.
I have a friend whom I love. Whom I will defend to the death, and whose concept of viable friendships is just beyond all wrong.
I have given him my patented friendship dollar discussion. Which in short just says, relationships are like investment banking, one doesn't throw money into a bad fund and expect any return.... and that through calculated risk investment you can maximize your friendships and personal growth... I realize that this sounds super analytical... but if you think about it the question really is: How much time have you spent investing in someone who just doesn't give a crap about you.
And yet you do. Or at least I do. Because even as I gave the *patented Friendship dollar discussion* I know that I have spent an inordinate time this year concentrating on being friends with someone who probably could take or leave me. Even in my head today, I make the appropriate friendship overtures and I don't really know the point... is the point to be the better person or is the point to prove to them eventually that I am worth knowing. It is absolutely ridiculous. And I wonder, is an LA thing, where it seems better to have a surface relationship than none at all... or if it is just a thing that people do till they grow out of it. And when do people grow out of it, because I know people still struggling with this v. idea at 42 years old. Which seems like an age you should have most of your ish figured out.
Right, well so ends the introspective part of the evening.
posted by Shanelle at 10:04 PM
2 Comments:
Maybe their friendship (love)bank is in debt so it takes awhile to get it out of the red....... Some people are very hard to be friends with..I think specifically of The Director( ha! I can give friends code names too). I still make the gesture, but they are few and far between.
Still not a good investment-sigh! Some people are still working on this at 52.......
You know, I read this blog. And I got a strange feeling the last paragraph could have been referring to me. Of course though I could be mistaken. At any rate, I did leave you a message with an apology. I hope you accepted. And if it is me I don't know what to say. Let's open up a dialogue because I believe this is just a misunderstanding. I'm sorry.
Jack
Post a Comment
<< Home