The Rule of Law
Pay attention Mini. And Mini Mini. And assorted members of the country. I am a big believer in Rules.
No not that insipidly uninspired "the rules" book. My rules. Rules that make sense, rules that inspire.
So with no further ado a short list of life rules.
1. In times of crisis, ladies put on your big girl panties and deal, wasting time crying over spilt milk, lets spilt milk stain your shoes. No one got anywhere crying in the shower, well except Mariah Carey, but a trip to crazy camp ain't all it is cracked up to be.
2. Never touch a football player. STD's are one step away from superbug status. Be it so resolved that this rule, doesn't include our beloved Tom Brady. Whom we would risk any superbug for.
3. Although it is tempting to believe otherwise. BOYS SHOULD CHASE GIRLS. the other way around sucks.
4. Like dear Posh Spice has instructed us. Ass out. Tits away. Tits out Ass away. Looking like a cheap hooker is never okay. (ahem, I stand corrected, it is okay IF you are actually a cheap hooker)
5. Friends don't let friends wear glitter before noon (Amanda, Ugly Betty)
6. Any friend of Indiana is no friend of yours.
7. If you wear a double digit size (NO SHAME) but also No COW PRINT. Frankly, try to stay away from animal print period as your main piece... one wants to look fashionable not herdable.
8. HEEL TOE. Ladies, the correct way to wear heels is HEEL/TOE. Clomping around just makes others wish you were in flats. Think more Gisele less Godzilla.
9. I don't care what you saw in the magazine. Mom jeans, weren't meant for anyone who hasn't birthed a child. TRUST ME here. Mom jeans are the new skinny, don't do it.
10. Apparently, young America needs this rule (stupid Britney) ALWAYS wear underwear when hundreds of photographers are waiting for you to hop out of your car in a mini dress. In fact in general, always wear underwear when wearing a mini dress. Commando is for army people. Are you in camouflage? Are you in the army? No. then go buy some VS.
Thank you. That is all. Come Again.
No not that insipidly uninspired "the rules" book. My rules. Rules that make sense, rules that inspire.
So with no further ado a short list of life rules.
1. In times of crisis, ladies put on your big girl panties and deal, wasting time crying over spilt milk, lets spilt milk stain your shoes. No one got anywhere crying in the shower, well except Mariah Carey, but a trip to crazy camp ain't all it is cracked up to be.
2. Never touch a football player. STD's are one step away from superbug status. Be it so resolved that this rule, doesn't include our beloved Tom Brady. Whom we would risk any superbug for.
3. Although it is tempting to believe otherwise. BOYS SHOULD CHASE GIRLS. the other way around sucks.
4. Like dear Posh Spice has instructed us. Ass out. Tits away. Tits out Ass away. Looking like a cheap hooker is never okay. (ahem, I stand corrected, it is okay IF you are actually a cheap hooker)
5. Friends don't let friends wear glitter before noon (Amanda, Ugly Betty)
6. Any friend of Indiana is no friend of yours.
7. If you wear a double digit size (NO SHAME) but also No COW PRINT. Frankly, try to stay away from animal print period as your main piece... one wants to look fashionable not herdable.
8. HEEL TOE. Ladies, the correct way to wear heels is HEEL/TOE. Clomping around just makes others wish you were in flats. Think more Gisele less Godzilla.
9. I don't care what you saw in the magazine. Mom jeans, weren't meant for anyone who hasn't birthed a child. TRUST ME here. Mom jeans are the new skinny, don't do it.
10. Apparently, young America needs this rule (stupid Britney) ALWAYS wear underwear when hundreds of photographers are waiting for you to hop out of your car in a mini dress. In fact in general, always wear underwear when wearing a mini dress. Commando is for army people. Are you in camouflage? Are you in the army? No. then go buy some VS.
Thank you. That is all. Come Again.
posted by Shanelle at 10:48 PM
3 Comments:
Yeah, Tom Brady can't count in that rule!!
Have you seen all the crap they are giving the Pats about "running up the score"? They are just jealous. I'll admit...I'm a tad bit nervous about Sunday's game. I'm sending all the good karma thoughts possible to our boys.
I'm a mom so I plead ignorance of fashion. What the heck are "mom jeans"?
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