The preceeding post was pulled.

I stand by my previous assertion that one need not act like a skank on webpages. But after much Debate with College Compatriots (where I was either supported and cheered or told I was being super super insecure and too leave the childreeen's alone)... I feel that it is in my best interest to just narrow down the statement to this:

"Ladies, please stop acting like sluts when you are clearly just 16 years old."

That is all.

P.S. See mom, I cleaned it up for you.
P.S.S. Nate, I believe even you can see the truth in this statement.

Blogaversary- The Favorite's Editions

It's that time of the month, you know the drill. 5 things you may or may not know about me. Enjoy. Or Don't. Whatever.

1. Favorite Foods- Over all food: Sandwiches, they need not be explained... I love them. A meal you can eat all the time. Snack Food: Hummus (only from Trader Joe's) and pita chips. Stressed out food: No, not ice cream, I like Toast. The amount of toast i eat after 10 a.m. is directly porportional to how stressed out I am.

2. Favorite Store: Banana Republic. I discovered the Banana in college but now that I work down the street from a store, I spend an inordinate amount of time there on lunch. It can't be healthy when all the managers know your name.

3. Favorite Sports Team: The New England Patriots. Tom Brady. I believe this speaks for it self: Sigh... so pretty. So talented. So Pretty..... sorry, I drifted off.

4. Favorite tv show(s): Greys Anatomy, Heroes, SVU...

5. Favorite Beverage: Diet coke with Vanilla or any alcoholic beverage contianing Malibu Coconut rum. I also enjoy tea, English Breakfast or Green only... I hate that fruity crap.

Insert Clever Title Here

So my name is _______ (ha! stalkers, never!) and I have bad taste in men.

Everyone: "Hi _______"

It all must have started somewhere in the 8th grade with my crush on the school hottie Travis. I knew he was just a flirt. I knew it was going to end badly. I totally did not let that stop me from listening to insipid boyz to men albums and dreaming of him asking me to the dance. He never did. What he did do is send me notes, wave to me from the hallway on M,W, TH and every other F, and generally flirt then ignore me. This, my friends, started me on the path to ALWAYS finding a way to want boys that I can't have, are bad for me, or who generally just have a love for ALL of womenkind as opposed to you know, just one. (As an aside, for journalistic integrity, I must point out that by the 10th grade... Travis was ALLLLLLLLLLLLLL about me, unfortunately I was into another unattainable [well attainable yet fickle] man Matt [who probably spawned my love of the Patriots by being from NE and who liked me and didn't like me depending on the week, ah HS I hated you.)

13 years later, I have almost the same danged problem. No, I am not hung up on a man I can't have (well maybe I am a little bit but not in that dedicate songs, be all depressive way or even that proactive, I will get his attention if it kills me kind of way, mostly in that, wow he is so awesome, sigh, never going to happen kind of way... Tom Brady does that to a girl. Stupid Gisele, she can't just be one of the most beautiful women in the world, she has to date one of the hottest men in the world as well... selfish!)

I just can't seem to bring myself to like the man I should really really like. Like the boy is ideal, good family, good looking (i.e. I am attracted to him), smart, nice, sweet, caring, we get along etc. And yet.... NOTHING. I can sit there with him and be all "meh-y" about it... like maybe we kiss, maybe we don't... whatever. And it is not fair, because I am really really trying here, I want to want him. Honestly. But I just can't. And that is why I am defective, I have all these craptacular guys who just want to touch me inappropriately and I finally find a great guy and I am all... MEH.

SON OF A MOTHERFRACKING MONKEY.

MEH.

It's a curse.

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Wait, it's a bird, it's a plane, NO... it's a non-sequitor, everybody DUCK!

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To my mother's chagrin, I am a football fan. I kn0w this bugs her, because if she calls me during games she gets this "mom, football, are you dead, great, no bye," and she calls back to say "why, why WHY do you like this inane sport?" All season long.

I don't even know where it came from, probably from a boyfriend in the past, but I am a FAN. I watch the games on Sunday, I read the sports section, I have a player I love and teams I back in the NFL and college.

But I recently came to the conclusion, I was still missing something in my NFL fandom. A team I hated. You can't truly have a team you love, if you don't have a team you hate.... right, otherwise you can't measure the depth of the emotion correctly. Never one to not recitify these problems immediately. I am proud to announce the team of my ire: (DRUMROLL)


The Dallas Cowboys and/or the Indianapolis Colts

Well, I get Indiana (The blog hates all things Indiana) but why the cowboys, you say?
Well while the Cowboys had somethings going for them, a coach, Bill Parcells, that my favorite coach (Patriots --Belichick) had previously mentored or something and a better location than most teams (see Indiana) and in theory excellent color choices for their uniforms (Navy, which I look good in) and Silver (Also, look good in.) They preformed poorly for having a complete chump for a manager (as a communications person, I don't like his interview style), their uniforms are fugly, the QB is merely okay looking and I think there cheerleaders are not cute. These are the things we here at the blog judge our teams by; and the Cowboys failed us misrably.

Plus, our friend Ben (he is a redskins fan) and the Ex (I have no idea why, I think it has to do with the early nineties or some dude named troy) hate the Cowboys, since I call them the most often to get clarification of football rules, they are owed some loyalty. And because no one suggested any other teams for me to despise, I had to go with what I know.

So let this be a declaration of intent to hate the Cowboys and the Colts irrationally and completely for the next few seasons. Sure my fanatical rantings of how awful they are won't make sense (since I don't know anything about the teams), but I believe in embracing these things to really fill out my fandom. Look out world.

For the record, the hatred spot for College is already completely filled with my irrational despisement of Notre Dame... any team that declares itself God's team and is actually in INDIANA deserves my hate. So here is to no bowl wins in 10+ years and counting.... HA.

And we're back.

Sorry peoples, I have had much to say but a drama/blood(more on this later)/stress filled week, I hadn't said anything.

Just to get back into the swing of things, a brief recap of the last eh... 6 days.
I went to a sadist dentist who put weird metal peices in my mouth while he worked, accidentally numbed the back of my throat and almost killed me. Nothing says AWESOME like spitting up blood for a good hour after I left. Earlier that day, I found my job posted on craigslist, because before we can be hired permanently at our company we have to allow the board to take resumes to see if you are the best they can do (there is a metaphor in that about life that I am totally going to exploit next post)... only, at the time, I totally didn't know that, so I had a big panic attack and am currently in the perpetual fear of my eventual firing, even though I am actually quite good with my job. Hooray.

Right, so never fear back in the saddle starting today. I have many thoughts. But I will leave you with this for right now.

According to the Today Show, 60 is the new 40, and according to sex in the city, 40 is the new 30 and 30 is the new 20. Does this mean, 26 is the new teenager. Because honestly that would explain ALOT.

Seriously. WhoTF thinks up these things... in 20 years is it going to be 80 is the new teenager.... and 90 is the new birth.

Dumb. Ish.

Are you a Danger Ranger?

Lately, I have taken to calling a select group of friends “Danger Rangers,” all from a rather stupid commercial I saw… leading other friends to question what exactly is a danger ranger?

So for your amusement (and greater knowledge) a quiz:

1. You are out with friends Saturday night, and someone says “eff it, we should just go to vegas!” you say:
a. “uh, I have to work/church/sleep in the morning, so let’s just hang out, we can do Vegas when we have time and made plans.”
b. “That is such a far drive on short notice… how long do you think it would take to get there”
c. “Caesars or Mandalay Bay?”

2. You are stuck in an airport for at least 8 hours, it is Christmas eve, so you:
a. Sit in a terminal with your laptop and watch dvd’s, you don’t want to miss a chance at flying stand by.
b. Find a sports bar and watch football bowl games, trash talking to every person with in radius about your team… Don’t got a team, you pick the team that no one is rooting for (unless that team is Notre Dame) and trash talk using statistics and ideas no one has heard of.
c. Walk out of the airport take a cab to the city you are stuck in and raise a ruckus

3. Fellas, you meet a new cutie, do you:
a. Chat up said cutie, being mildly flirtatious, and walk away after a few minutes.
b. Slide right up into the seat next to her, chat her up and say, “hey we should hang out sometime” and call said cutie a week later
c. Chat up new cutie, tell her you think she rocks, ask for the phone number and call the next day to make some plans… hotties don’t stay on the market long.

4. You are at a martini bar, you notice your friend hitting on a lame chick, do you:
a. Snatch friend away from lame chick and march them out of the bar straight home. Clearly they have had too much.
b. Laugh at said friend and make a note to tell friend next day, “dude chick was lame” and make sure that friend doesn’t do anything that could result in a baby.
c. Not notice, you were to busy having fun to spend all your time baby sitting an adult… besides you drove him there and you have the house keys, he can’t go anywhere without you… plus, maybe lame chick has a “great personality”

5. You have a friend acting like a complete idiot, in public and not in a cool manner, do you:
a. Ignore it, idiocy happens.
b. Call them out on it; friends don’t let friends be stupid faces.
c. Punch them in the face, tell them it’s cool, and then hug it out.

Scoring:

My Answers: C, B, Not Applicable as I am a girl and get asked I don't do the asking,B,C

Mostly A’s -- Hey you are one cool person, we’re sure, but you are no danger ranger. Don’t worry about it, not everyone can be one, each of us have special skills… don’t feel too bad, not being a danger ranger probably means you are certifiably sane.

Mostly B’s (This is where I typically score) -- Lower level danger ranger, probably could be talked in to more dangerous territory, this person grounds the crazier rangers when it becomes apparent that cliff diving at midnight is going to turn out super badly.

Mostly C’s – You are probably not sane, and that is cool. Sanity is overrated anyway. As long as you are cool with Jesus, responsible with your job and no one gets too hurt, then what the heck, might as well do it.

So there you have it kids…. Are you a Danger Ranger?

Still confused/Concerns/Added Quiz Questions, you know the drill…. Click the comment icon.

Memo World:

Current Favorite Moments from Today:

SFCW--- asking me a question about the board, letting me answer 2/3rds of the way through and then being all never mind... rolls eyes, huffy. I despise huffy men. Men shouldn't be huffy.

Econ/Dev Board Meeting--- (And I quote) "Well this is the problem with your office, you have had 3 years to get this right and you fail every time"
Me--"uh. I have only been on the job 3 months, since October"
random board member "Well...you should have handled this last May."

Then there was: "why don't we take 25,000 and do this project"
Me: "where is this 25,000, we don't have 25,000 dollars anywhere, everything is allocated for 2007."
Random Board Member "well what we need is for you to find that money and use it to do this project."
Me---sigh.

Then I went to drink my hot chocolate and discovered it was ORANGE FLAVORED HOT CHOCOLATE. It sucked so freaking hard.

Now I am cranky, wanting my stupid hot chocolate and I need a nap.

Frenimies, of sorts.

I have this friend. At least I think this person is my friend. Or this is my friend when they aren't making me feel absolutely craptastical about myself. So the question posed to the blog is: if the person makes you feel bad 10 percent of the time, but the rest of the time can be a pretty cool person to hang out with, do you stay friends with them or back off.

Because, part of me understands that I should just you know, SAY SOMETHING. Like "hey, you are hurting me," but the other part of me thinks, would I be wasting my time by mentioning anything... I mean in theory I know this person cares about me and during crunch time they have come through. But somedays it kind of feels like, they get a kick out of hurting my feelings (which makes me sound 12). I think somedays they think I can take it really well, because I tend to fake tough really well... and it isn't really fair to stop talking to someone without even mentioning why, right blog readers?

On a lighter note. My team plays in San Diego this weekend.... GO Patriots!

Casa De Meh ADD Blog

This blog was written at different times by the roomie and myself. Enjoy.

The house stock is up. When we say stock is up, it just means, all of a sudden, boys are overly interested in taking us out, telling us we are pretty, etc. It's awesome, except it's not. They are all really nice guys, all really cute, and we don't want any of them. Sad.

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A Sampling of the House Rules

1. No one can date, kiss, or engage in other behaviors with anyone the other roommate has kissed, dated, etc. UNLESS, given express clearance for what we call "a fly by"
Yeah, that means when you pick one of us, and for the purpose of this definition as soon as you kiss one of us you made your decision, you can't change your mind and re-pick, you are stuck with your original decision. As they say, "a house divided cannot stand." And no we have not previously published this rule, but that doesn't mean we give out exceptions.

2. No one let's anyone go out Fugly. These things should be saved for enemies of the house. Yes, we do have house most wanted list... be careful or else you will end up on it.

3. You never change the channel during the following shows: the Simpsons, anything with Dane Cook on, Grey's Anatomy or Ugly Betty.

4. First person up in the morning picks the morning picks the news program... she perfers fox, I like the Today Show.

5. When you leave the house, you take the spare not the heir. I.E. you can take the spare flat iron and blow dryer. The orginals stay in the house.

6. The roomie always gets the last piece of cake and the last cookie... otherwise she has a major fit.

7. Sometimes the hard smack of reality is necessary. Always serve said smack with a lovely frothy beverage.

We Are So Over, We Need a New Word for Over.

Well officially, I am DONE with John Mayer. Surely, I know my fandom means naught to the man, but we are definitely OVER OVER. I accepted that absolutely nonsensical article about smoking pot in Rollingstone, I feel I dealt fairly well with the greasy homeless look he has been cultivating over the last year, John-boy, I embraced the live album where you butchered the Police, I gave you a good rotation on the IPOD, defended you from your detractors, never mocked the self-serving, oft-trite "Waiting on the World to Change" (tell me, what the hell have you done to make the world a better place as you were off finding yourself with a bong, a pipe and several illegal substances)

In essence, I have been a very supportive fan. Granted I never erected web pages in your honor, or spent any money going to a concert... but I did actually purchase your albums on Itunes, which should count for something.

But this... this is ridiculous. Jessica Simpson. J.Simp, she of chicken or tuna, she of an entourage whose sole purpose is to make her look good, she of "I can't remember the words to 9 to 5", she who makes Paris Hilton look like a Rhodes scholar, she of the "I totally don't believe in plastic surgery," whilst she cues up for another lip injection ("I don't know, it must have been the hormones/stress/blah blah blah that made my lips grow")

You have carte blanch to date/makeout with/sleep with, almost anyone and you pick the SUBPAR SIMPSON SISTER. The subpar, dumb Simpson sister. This is something I can not abide. I could have hung with almost anyone and everyone but J.SIMP. Hell naw.

So, it's over, I have removed you from the playlist, you are booted from the IPOD top 25, and I will mock you with impunity, unless you come to your senses, then I reserve the right to take you back.

A tip however, if you must date random hot blonds, I suggest flipping through Maxim and making your selections from there... upgrade my friend. It's all the rage for 2007, "upgrade to a chick with a brain."

I love Waffles. Happy New Years and Other Assorted Thoughts.

Specifically, I love eggo frozen blueberry waffles. Which is why I dragged Luz and JM grocery shopping at uh... well about 11:30 at night.

Honestly, there is not much better (well actually there are lots of things better, but I digress, for the purpose of gross exageration, we shall say there is nothing better) than grocery shopping right around midnight. Why? Because they are always restocking the floor, and so you get an obstacle course right in your grocery store, plus you can randomly do preformance pieces in the cheese isle (Ha...you loved it JM). The highlight of the drive, getting 3 peoples groceries into a 2 door car, where the trunk was full.

Moving along, I am quite the barkeep it turns out. I made many a mixed drink this New Years, mostly because I was the designated driver so I needed something to do... I even invented one the Shanelle-Colada(it involved 99 Bananas... which is about 98 too many Bananas for some party goers) it was a smashing success. All in all, a fantastic party, sure your carpet will never be the same, and you actually played Ace of Base as part of the soundtrack, we overlook these missteps and say: Well played, danger ranger. Well played indeed.

I hope you all watched the Fiesta Bowl yesterday, what a phenomenal feat of Football. Fantastic... Tom Brady-esq, infact. Enough for me to reconsider my previous position on Idaho, which was that it was in the top 5 worst states in the union, with Indiana coming in with a strong first, Oklahoma, Alabama and Florida trailing in close for top honors.